idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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