If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
