Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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