found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
