Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
