I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
