dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
