also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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