you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
