I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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