Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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