Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I will be naked everywhere
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
