Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
