Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
