the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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