drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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