I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
