we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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