i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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