Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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