I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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