He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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