i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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