Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
