i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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