Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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