so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
