508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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