Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
