hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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