Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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