Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
