doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
