So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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