Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
