i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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