Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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