I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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