I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
