I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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