Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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