Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
COCAINE IS GR8
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
