Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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