U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Someone shattered a urinal.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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