based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
