You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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