The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
