I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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