Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
