so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
