my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
