Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
