Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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