Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
