I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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