On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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