Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize