porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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