thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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