whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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