the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
