I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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