I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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