I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
