but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
