Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You can't special order awesome
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize